Wrestling TV ad that rocks

peep here

50K Racewalker

When you beat this game you will always finish third place.

Best Game(s) Ever

These Videlectrix games are so awesome and intense I almost took in dump in my pants while playing.

50K Racewalker

Hallrunner

Playing games on a computer is always more fun than not playing games on a computer.

Biography of a Real American Ninja

Chuck Norris is a fellow ninja of mine, and we go way back. He taught me a lot of things about beards. There are a lot of things you probably don't know about him, though. The nice people at 4Q, a "Random Facts Site," have documented some of the most notable but lesser known details of his existence here. I advise you to click.

Intendo

This is a pretty nice piece on the Nintendo 20th Anniversary from the folks over at www.1up.com.

link to 1up.com story

Also the top 15 NES games of all time. It's hard to disagree with such a badass selection of titles.

Top 15 NES Games

The Power of Technology

It’s not exactly breaking news that the internet is getting more advanced and sophisticated each and everyday. We all know that current technology is far more advanced than it was a generation ago. It’s baffling to think of all the things we can now do with computers that were thought impossible only a few years back.

Recently though, a group of researchers at Yale wrote a computer program that can actually read human thought.



The all-star team of scientists, led by Dr. Xia Huang, finished the project earlier this summer, on time and well under budget. This amazing accomplishment is achieved through a series of complex algorithms and equations, not to mention years of research. Other artificial intelligent products do exist on the market, but none are as advanced or powerful as the one developed by Dr. Huang and his team. Groderz was able to obtain a simplifed version of the program, making it the first blog with A.I. capabilities. Enter any basic question such as: “What am I thinking?” or “What is the name of my dog?” or “How old am I?” Prepare to be amazed!

Ask Groderz a Question:

This Sunday on Fox

Doritos.com, The Ultimate Online Experience

I was so busy yesterday doing absolutely nothing that I barely had enough time to check out the Frito-Lay website, luckily I did. First of all, who goes to these types of websites? Other than me and some fat, semi-retarded Babylon 5 geek, how big of a junk food slob do you have to be to start surfing the web trying to find out more information about your favorite snack. As if eating the food isn’t good enough. The following is the description of the Doritos section:

Turn up the volume of your snacking with the amped-up spices, high-decibel cheese, and the awesome crunch of Doritos brand tortilla chips. The bold flavors like Doritos Nacho Cheesier and Cooler Ranch are the loudest tasting snacks on earth.

I like Doritos as much as the next guy, but high-decibel cheese, amped-up spices, Oops, I think I just squirted in my pants, which may very well be one of the 23 different flavors of Doritos-type products I found on the site. Pants Squirt® flavored DORITOS™ Tortilla Snacks. After casually glancing over the site I noticed that placed discreetly off to the side was the link to the actual Doritos website, this I had to see. Beware: Not only will this site piss you off, it may also make you hate Doritos forever.

After an enormously huge amount of time already wasted, about 45 seconds, I clicked over to the Doritos chat room by mistake.



Realizing what I had just done, my head started to hurt and I immediately thought of the last chat room I accidentally went to.

The Memory of War is by far one of the most intriguing of Babylon 5 episodes. The nano virus and Chambers breakthrough are out of synch here, but this is not a fault of the show's creators so viewers should go easy on that one continuity error. This is the last of the produced episodes to feature Peter Woodward as Galen and it is the best of the episodes that features Peter Woodward as Galen as well.

We already know geeks need a place to chat online, so this is nothing new, but I had to make this visit to Doritos.com semi-productive. Fortunately, I found the full ingredients to Murphy’s now famous Ranchero skid-mark fiasco.



N2(g) + 3H2(g) ↔ 2NH3(g) + ΔH = Ass Explosion

Doritos needs to worry less about being extreme and hip and urban and in-your-face and worry more about making good snacks that we all used to love.

Don't Buy the New Doritos

Doritos normally get better and better with every new flavor. Nacho Cheese were pretty good. When Jay Leno hyped the new Cool Ranch, it was like a taste revolution. Of course, then they went all x-treme and made Nacho CheesIER and CoolER Ranch, which were, well, they definitely lived up to their respective "ER"s. The various incarnations of salsa flavors - Salsa Rio, Salsa Verde, Spicy Nacho, etc., have all been outstanding. And, more recently, Black Pepper Jack. Them mugs swing like there ain't no tomorrow. I can't wait for BlackER Pepper Jack.

Recently I came upon a new flavor - Ranchero. First of all, the bag is written in Spanish. Everywhere. English is a second language to Ranchero Doritos, which made me think "wow, they must be authentic Doritos." So I tore into them. I was prepared for another epic Dorito tear, leaving me feeling sick and dirty in a way that only a massive Dorito tear truly can.



The tear didn't last long. They were seriously nasty. They tasted like the inside of a dog's butt. Like someone peed in a bag and swore it was yummy. They were spicy, but not in a zesty way, more like in a powdery, salty kind of way. And they also tasted like fruit-flavored chemicals.

I checked the ingredients. Lime juice and paprika. That's the secret to Ranchero: lime juice and paprika. Maybe it's some cultural thing I missed, but it's nasty.

Weed Makes Brain Grow

Dude, like, whoa.

The herb makes brain cells grow. I wonder what the Brah would have to say about that.

Read on.

SideKicks was the best TV show ever

SideKicks was the best TV show ever created, I’m not talking about the ridiculously inane movie with Chuck Norris and that little girl, I’m talking about Ernie, The Last Electric Knight!



This show kicked so much ass that ABC was only able to air it from 1986-87, too many kids were killed trying to fight crime in their neighborhoods. The story of the show is simple. For some reason an aging Kung Fu Master named Sabasan decided to let Sgt. Jake Rizzo, a gruff, street-wise cop adopt his grandson, Ernie Lee. Ernie is "The Last Electric Knight”, the final member of an ancient clan dedicated to the martial arts, kicking ass and using magical powers on bad guys. The great thing about the show was that every episode had the exact same plot:

a) Cop/dad would get into some type of trouble with generic bad guys
b) He would tell Ernie to stay out of it, “It’s too dangerous!”
c) Ernie, in spite of Rizzo’s warning, would bust in at the last minute and kick everyone’s ass
d) Sabasan would give sage-like advice and spout off an ancient aphorism summarizing the whole episode
e) Everyone would hug

TV shows suck these days, especially primetime TV shows. They want you to think and watch every episode. The decline of modern suck-TV started with X-Files, quite possibly the worst series every created. SideKicks was awesome, and like all other great TV shows you could watch just one episode and be satisfied, not hopelessly lost in an absurdly complex story line, for example '24', or shall I say 20-Bore. SideKicks is one of the greats, you best believe it.



historical note:
Before things were ‘X-treme’, as they are now (Mountain Dew, X-treme Sports, X-treme Wrestling, X-treme Makeover, X-treme Jell-O), things were ‘Electric’ (The Electric Company, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo, Electric Banana, Electric Slide, Last Electric Knight)

A winner is Metal Gear

http://videos.somethingawful.com/mega64/mgs.mpg

Real Metal Gear. Solid.

Didn't everyone know that Konami and Ultra were the same company? Or was that some big cover up?

A winner is Paperboy

real paperboy
http://www.mega64.com/paperboy.mpg

MonoBrah

Bruce Lee is a God

YES!! Even well after death, Bruce Lee is all-powerful. Yea, click unto thy image.



In addition to clicking the above image, you can also click here for a neato Bruce Lee simulacron.

This Week's Mono Bro

There's a site dedicated to the monobrow. Also know as the uni-brow. They have a Mono Bro of the week. Click the picture to visit. Good times. Weeks 46 and 29 are my favorites. Also check out the Super Greg Game while you're there.


Note the 99X signage in the background. I don't know how many 99Xs there are in this great land, but there's a chance this week's Mono Bro is an ATLien.

Faceoff is the Worst Movie Ever

Every once in a while a movie, such as Faceoff, will suck so hard that all other crappy movies will cease to suck. Don’t see Faceoff, ever. If you haven’t seen it and want to know what it’s like, imagine some fat guy with diarrhea so violent and explosive that chunks of the diarrhea splashes back up on his leg and then drips back down into the toilet, so for a few moments he has little diarrhea stalactites stuck to his leg. That’s what Faceoff is like, diarrhea stalactites stuck to some fat guys leg. If you ever have the urge to rent this movie from Blockbuster do this instead. Give the $4.50 to some homeless guy and beat your head against a tree for the next two hours. Trust me, you will be much better off in the end. All other movies ever made are better than Faceoff. Period. Any loser, pimple-faced film student thinking of making some stupid indie film about his shitty hometown can rest assured that at least their movie, although it will suck, will not be as bad as Faceoff.
This is one of the horrible movies John Travolta starred in during his supposed comeback, if he was indeed in the comeback phase of his career it ended the day he agreed to star in Faceoff. Nicolas Cage, what a homo. He needs to ask his agent why he is such a complete failure and total asshole. I actually liked Cage before he became an ass-clown and disgraced all of mankind by starring in this worthless pile of garbage. I was surprised to learn that a person, not a Hollywood robot programmed to direct shitty movies, directed this film. John Woo happened to be the shit-monger they brought in to “direct” Faceoff. The name ‘Woo’ is obviously Chinese for “the chosen one who directs turd-scented movies”. It's no coincidence that Woo also directed Broken Arrow, the second worst movie ever, also starring the fat, mongoloid John Travolta. I can’t believe I have already wasted so much time and energy writing about this blackhole of a movie. I could try to mention something about the plot, but I’m not going to.
By the way, if a friend of yours ever tells you this movie is good, he just became your worst enemy.

Legal Obligation 2.0

Legal Obligation

I think I'm required by law to post this picture.

By Any Means Necessary 2.0

The Legacy of Mer-Man

Before he was an Evil Warrior who ruled the oceans of Eternia, Mer-Man was a reclusive, sea-dweller with a kind heart and gentle disposition. Little is known about Mer-Man before he joined the evil ranks of Skeletor and his minions, but his story is one of betrayal and deceit.

Mer-Boy grew up an only child in the Sea of Rakash. He spent much of his childhood maintaining very little contact with other members of his species. His father, an alcoholic, was cruel and abusive towards his son. Mer-Boy had a keen interest in science and was always reading books and writing stories about make-believe lands. His father found these qualities unsavory and would often ridicule and insult his son because of it. To make matters worse, his father had another family he kept hidden in the Ocean of Gnarl. When Mer-Boy was 13 his father left them completely to live with his other family. After his father left, Mer-Boy and his mother were able to live a somewhat quiet, normal life with only an occasional visit from his drunken maniac father.

At the age of 16, Mer-Boy ran away to the Sea of Harmony, seeking a new start. However, he was not satisfied by the immediate prospects. After a few months, while working at a sea-weed farm Mer-Boy was introduced to King Randor by the owner of the farm. King Randor immediately took a liking to Mer-Boy and was impressed with his knowledge of science and marine biology. Given that Eternia was a feudal society and prospects for different careers were bleak, Mer-Boy was delighted when the king offered him an apprenticeship on his counsel. Young Prince Adam, the king's son, was jealous of Mer-Boy and the amount of time he spent with his father. This jealousy drove Prince Adam to devise a plot to frame Mer-Boy. With aquatics as his specialty, Mer-Boy had access to the plumbing system blueprints for the Palace of Eternia. Using this fact to his advantage, under the veil of darkness Prince Adam stole the blueprints and hid them, along with a large container of poison in Mer-Boy’s living quarters. The next day Prince Adam mentioned to Duncan, Mer-Boy’s master, that he over-heard Mer-Boy talking quietly about some nefarious plan to harm many people in the palace. Duncan, doubtful at first, agreed to search Mer-Boy’s living quarters and was very surprised to find the blueprints and poison. Mer-Boy faced immediate execution, but the king took pity on the poor boy and exiled him to the murky waters near the Dunes of Doom.

Bitter and enraged, Mer-Boy, now going by the name Mer-Man, spent the next few years fighting for his life off the coast of the Dunes of Doom. While looking for food one day, Mer-Man ran into two gentlemen known as Beast-Man and Fisto. They explained to Mer-Man that they worked for an evil warlord named Skeletor and that he was looking to hire a few new people. Interested, Mer-Man accompanied Fisto and Beast-Man back to Snake Mountain, Skeletor’s evil palace. Skeletor quickly recognized the need for an ugly sea-creature on his staff and appointed him as an official Evil Warrior and ruler of the seas. Not long after Mer-Man started his new job he became involved in a nasty sexual harassment case. The details of the case are vague, but supposedly Fisto used his excessively large hand to "touch" Mer-Man while he was sleeping. While this is disgusting even for evil doers, some good did come out of it. During the trial Fisto was exposed as a traitor and defected to work for He-Man, Skeletor’s sworn enemy.

Mer-Man had a successful career working for Skeletor and many interesting assignments. Hustler, stalker, swindler, pimp, hit-man, drug dealer, bouncer, racketeer, junior warlord, burglar, get-away driver, smuggler, baller, thug, arms dealer, loan shark and bookie, Mer-Man has done it all. Sources say he is now retired and living in Long Beach, CA.

Brahian Wookers

Crack Wars

Here is the equation for crack use taken from this serious academic paper written about the proliferation of crack cocaine in America. I have always viewed crack and crack use as somewhat comical, probably due to the extreme nature of the drug and it’s effects. Also suburban white kids in the 80's and 90's never really had the means or the wherewithal to score any rock. Here is a link to some pretty serious debating about gangs, crack wars and general crack use.

Don't Vote for Pedro

Chinese woman murders fiancé over videogames

And you thought you had it bad…
By Aaron McKenna: Monday 12 September 2005, 12:18

A CHINESE woman has been charged with the murder of her fiancé for spending "too much time playing online games."
On August 6th the young woman murdered her jobless fiancé as he was spending too much time playing online videogames and not enough searching for a job in order to pay for the couples wedding, according to Action Trip.
This comes on the heels of the Chinese government’s attempts to curb online videogaming by placing a cap on the amount of time which players can spend on MMORPGs. While their restrictions may be a tad harsh we would say that considering the increasing number of crimes related to MMORPGs, including several murders, operators of the games should perhaps take it upon themselves to monitor players for excessive play.

Don't Let This Happen to You

Call to Arms

Normally small children don't meet the stringent criteria to qualify as ninjas, especially suburban white kids with no known Asian heritage, but occasionally exceptions will arise. This kid lives down the street from me; his parents figured he could generate some supplemental income for the family if he started providing security for the neighborhood. My neighborhood association is a well-run organization with clear guidelines for the appropriation of funds, so a vote was necessary. As a member of the neighborhood counsel I was present when the "ninja protection" proposal was put forth to the counsel, needless to say we were all extremely incredulous. We immediately decided to form a committee to investigate the need for a ninja on the neighborhood payroll. At first the ability to enter a castle by means of stealth, launching a surprise attack on the inhabitants, becoming invisible, turning into animals, jumping over buildings, and the ability to fly didn’t seem very important, but after careful consideration we approved the proposal and hired the kid. It’s worth noting that the decision was also sparked by a sudden increase in pillaging and Samurai attacks in the community. Six months later the crime rate is down and we all feel much safer in our homes. Remember to never underestimate the power of a 6-year-old ninja.

Wooktor

I often imagine a harmonious, utopian existence where groders and brahs can work and live side-by-side, away from haters, busters, marks and mark-ass busters and punk-ass bitches. I may never live to see my dream come to fruition, but this picture is a glimpse of what it would be like.

Originally this blog was a tribute to Wook #17 AKA The Brah. Scroll all the way down to the bottom of this blog to see what I'm talking about. To fully grasp and understand what it is all about you must start at http://passedoutwookies.com/ and then make your way over to The official Wook #17 picture thread. Have fun, but be warned, what you are about to see could change your life.

Mark D.

Thanks again to Seanbaby.com for providing much hilarity.

This guy is a real tool, read all about Mark Discordia and his adventures here at Seanbaby.com.

Pay special attention to the fact that the first game Mark mentions is Deadly Towers, widely viewed as the worst game ever.

At da Beach

Werd!

Legends

What?!?

Wow, I don’t even know where to start with this one.

First of all is that Hulk Hogan or Man-at-Arms gay stunt-double?

Who really wins here? Not any 10-year-old kid trying to play kick-ass Nintendo games and then his dad buys him this crap and tells him its better than Pro Wrestling and Data East Tag Team Wrestling. WWF© Wrestlemania™ sucked hard, even Tecmo World Wrestling was better.
Acc-lame is not winning anything by selling unsuspecting youths (parents) not only one, but two crappy games. Did any one even have the VCR WWF© Wrestlemania™ Game™? Board game action plus WWF© video excitment. Total crap.

Note: WWF lost the WWF trademark to the World Wildlife Fund and is now known as WWE©™

cats

Weekly Spotlight

Presenting...

Smoke Crack and Prosper

Message(#6851-000459-5200\4595200)

Hello and thank you for contacting Nintendo,

Unfortunately, the information you asked about is no longer available. However, we do appreciate your interest in our products!

Sincerely,

Nintendo of America Inc.
Dervin Camden

Nintendo's home page: http://www.nintendo.com/
Power Line (Automated Product Info):
(425) 885-7529

Ok, so this turned out to be a dead-end. The problem is I still need more information about the game counselors.

I did take the survey.

THANK YOU!

Thank you for participating in our survey!

For more information on Nintendo products and service,

Please visit our web site at www.nintendo.com.

If you need assistance with any of our products, link here to be directed to a web form that will get you in touch with one of our customer service representatives.

If there is another game player in your household that would also like to provide information for this survey, click here to begin the survey again.

Once again, thank you for participating in our survey.

Nintendo Game Counselors

more...

Rob Leingang

Jack McLain

Sharon Kirksey

Steve Pennington

Garon Galloway

Jeff Mahaffey

Jody Sage

Blaine Phelps

This is an email I sent to Nintendo customer service, hopefully they'll get back to me.

http://www.nintendo.com/consumer/webform.jsp

Dear Nintendo:

I have been a Nintendo gamer and fan for almost 20 years now. Back when Nintendo Power first came out in the summer 1988 you would publish short bio’s about the very knowledgeable Nintendo Game Counselors. It was cool to know a thing or two about the counselors, favorite games, hobbies, high scores, etc., I was wondering if I could receive some information about the current game counselors or you could direct me to where this information would be available. Thanks in advance and keep up the good work.


Avid Gamer

Brian Peppers

From what I have gathered so far this is not an internet joke. This guy is actually registered at the Ohio Sex Offender website. Type in Brian Peppers and see for yourself.

http://www.esorn.ag.state.oh.us/Secured/p21_2.aspx


Classification:Sexually Oriented Offender
Offense(s):2907.05- Gross Sexual Imposition

Offender/Demographics

Brian Peppers
Nickname: n/a
Date of Birth:11/01/1968
Age:36
Race:White Gender:Male
Height:5'7"
Weight:170 lbs.
Hair:Brown
Eyes:Blue
Scars, Marks, Tattoos:n/a

New Skool

Don’t let your eyes deceive you, the good folks over at Members Only have decided to remodel their classic jacket for the modern retro-metro type. This hip new look will have everyone in a fashion frenzy this fall.

Mad ill-usions

Stare at the black X in the middle of the screen long enough and all the purple dots disappear and only the one green dot remains, make sure you don't blink, but if you follow the purple dots around the circle you will notice there are no green dots at all. This is pretty cool.

Megalomania

I'm not mad at Al Gore, I really don't think most people are mad at him anymore. The problem is that he is mad at everyone else.

In a March 1999 interview with Wolf Blitzer, Gore said, "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." While this statement is vague and ambiguous it can not directly be concluded that Al Gore ever actually said he invented the Internet. During the 2000 election the George Bush campaign team concocted a scenario in which Gore claims that he invented the Internet. Funny? Yes. True? Maybe.

With the creation of the Internet behind him Gore is moving on to bigger and better things, namely Current TV. Watch out Rupert Murdoch and Ted Turner, here comes Al Gore and he is looking to add media mogul to his résumé.

Here is what Gore said in an April press conference about his new channel, "We have no intention of being a Democratic channel, a liberal channel... That's not what we're all about. We are about empowering this generation of young people in the 18-to-34 population to engage in a dialogue of democracy and to tell their stories of what's going on in their lives, in the dominent medium of our time." Conservative groups across the nation are already predicting a flop.

Conventional television is a dying medium, hopefully Gore and his team of media experts, if they exist, have a few tricks up their sleeves.

Good luck Al.

Van Daaaaamn!

Van Damme. He was in a lot of movies in a short period of time. He played Guile in the Street Fighter II movie. Ken busted a cap in his ass.

Van Damme's very first movie role was as "Gay Karate Man" in 1984's Monaco Forever. It set the tone for his whole career.

He played twins in Double Impact. In a rare stroke of creative genius, the creators of Double Impact decided to make one of the twins a street-wise tough guy, and the other a prissy cake boy. Oh yeah, and separated at birth. Needless to say, I was blown away by such raw originality in a screenplay.

The picture above was from Cyborg. Despite that "cyborg" is written right there on his head, Van Damme does not play a cyborg in that movie.

The last time Van Damme was heard from in the news was on a slightly embarrassing note. In Feb. 1998 Van Damme, along with pal and not-much-action star Mickey Rourke walked into the famous NY strip club, Score’s. After a few drinks eyewitnesses reported that Hells Angel’s president Chuck Zito beat-up Van Damme with a fierce series of punches and jabs. Where was Mickey Rourke when all this was happening? I guess he was engaged in other activities, like being a total homo. Poor Van Damme. I guess he needs to spend less time looking tough and more time actually being tough.

Van Damme is multi-talented. Actor, martial arts expert, and most importantly, an accomplished dancer. Early in his career, he was in the famous breakdance movie, Breakin', as "Passerby in First Dance Sequence." The fresh moves he learned from that experience obviously carried over into the scene in the following link, which is from one or more of the following movies: Bloodkill, Killsport, Kickdeath, Bloodsport, Deathboxer, Kickboxer, or Deathkill.

Don't just stand there, bust a move.

Superman Memory Game

This game is fun and easy to play. Stare at this picture of Superman for 60 seconds and try to memorize as many details as possible. The link below is to another picture of Superman almost identical to the one above. See how many differences you can find between the two pictures. If you can find 5 or more, you're a real super sleuth! It works the best if you can remember as many details as possible. After you are done click here.

Corporate Sponsorship

Corporations will sponsor anything and advertise anywhere. Recent proposals have even included low-orbiting billboards to advertise from space. As ridiculous as this may seem it just proves the point that corporations will stop at nothing to advertise their products.
The next logical step is for corporations to figure out how to use Iraq as a platform to advertise. Maybe some type of bidding war would take place to rebuild the infrastructure or some other project.

My prediction is by the year 2008 Iraq will be renamed Office Depot.

This would create new opportunities for other global entities to be renamed as well. For example, say the next time a natural disaster strikes a third-world country, U.S. corporations could swoop in and make huge humanitarian relief donations if the country agrees to rename itself. Say from Sri Lanka to Bank of America. Why stop there? What if a drunk oil tanker captain collides with another ship in the Gulf of Mexico and creates a nasty oil spill, upsetting thousands of miles of coast. Disaster? Yes, but also an opportunity for Microsoft to pay for the clean up and rename it the Gulf of Microsoft.

By any means necessary

Mr. T vs. Cats

Yes, I brought it back.



The Original ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

the top 20 worst NES games of all time.

All of these games suck.

Played Out

Ok, I know, I'm glad too that the Whazzup? craze is finally over, but this was always the best one. You know it's still funny...

http://www.docmelamed.com/Whazzup/superfriends.htm

Gaming Culture

BBC News

S Korean dies after games session


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4137782.stm

Scott's Neighbor in Japan

My friend and fellow Dream Team member Scott Popular lives in Japan. I always wonder if Scott ever bumps into Fighter Hayabusa at the club on dollar drink night, I mean yen drink night. Watch out for him Scott, the Back Brain Kick is no joke.

Vania Mania

God Bless Lindsey A. Kaeo. In 1988 his house was host to one of the most monumental gaming sessions in modern history.
Castlevania II hadn’t even come out yet in Atlanta. This was back when games were first released your town might not get all the new titles. You’d go into the mall all pumped up about buying Excitebike II and the dude would be like “No, that wasn’t released in Atlanta.” “What do you mean ‘wasn’t released in Atlanta.’? ...buster."
I think Lindsey’s step-brother Daniel got an advance copy of Castlevania II in New York. Daniel, a non-gamer, of course did not realize that Castlevania II was one of the most eagerly anticipated sequels of all time. But that’s not what I told him when I convinced him to let me borrow Castlevania II if I let him borrow Deadly Towers.
Not too long after I borrowed Castlevania II Lindsey had his annual Sleep-over party. Other than celebrating Lindsey’s birthday the best way we knew how, I don’t remember much about that party, but I do remember this…

At about 7:00 pm, the Dream Team (Jason T., Scott B., Victor H., Ben M.) along with myself started playing Castlevania II. We each took two or three hour shifts playing non-stop for about eleven hours and finally beat the game shortly after 6:00 am. As young pupas little did we know that we were slowly undergoing transformation into seasoned gamers and that this all-night gaming experience was the start of something extraordinary. Playing video games, especially really good ones, was brought to a higher level.

I won’t use this opportunity to clown any specific individuals but some of us did fall asleep and didn’t make it all the way until the end to watch the closing credits. The ending was always the smoothest part of the game and Castlevania II was no exception. Some games though just did not have solid endings (Super Off-Road).
As our parents came and picked us up from Lindsey’s house a few hours later and we parted our ways I remember giving a nod to the other members of the Dream Team, as if to say “That was awesome guys, I can’t believe we stayed up all night and finally beat Castlevania II.”
I'll always miss and remember Lindsey for a thousand better reasons than this one, but it was a good time and a fun birthday party.

Tap your inner guerilla warrior

http://www.wormulon.net/files/TPSreport.pdf

http://www.wormulon.net/files/TPSMemo.pdf

Start a cubicle revolution. If your office environment is anything like mine it’s eerily reminiscent of the movie Office Space. Multiple bosses, cube farms, mindless paper work and procedures. The two links above are .pdf files of the TPS Cover Sheet and the TPS Memo from Office Space. Go ahead and make a bunch of copies and distribute them all around the office. And oh yeah, I'm going to have to go ahead and ask you to come in on Sunday, too...

These quotes will help with the over-all effect:

“Yeah. Uh, did you get that memo?”

“Yeah. It's just that we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now.”

“ So if you could just remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!”

Gaming

In 1983 my best friend was the Atari 2600. What more could any entry-level gamer ask for. The marquee, top-of-the-line game was Pitfall! (Pitfall Harry’s Jungle Adventure). Nothing else had even come close to the game play, difficulty or pure fun of Pitfall. The apex of my career as gamer came very early. Activision had a contest where if you scored 20,000 points or more you would become a member of the Explorers Club, an elite group of gamers dedicated to all things Pitfall. My parents were surprisingly supportive of my gaming habits, so one day after a mammoth session my mom took a picture of my score and sent it in to Activision. A few weeks later we got in the mail an Explorers Club patch and this letter:

Dear Pitfall Harry adventurer:

Congratulations! You scored 20,000 or more points on Pitfall and have earned membership in Activision’s Explorers Club. I’m proud of you – not every soldier of fortune has the courage and skill to tame the wild jungle.
In permanent recognition of your special ability to find treasure despite snapping crocodiles and deadly scorpions, I’ve enclosed my official emblem.
Your name will be added to our mailing list and you’ll receive Activisions, the newsletter that reports on new Activision game cartridges, designers, special contests, and experiences of other video game fans around the country.
Thank you for sharing your accomplishment with me. I hope you will try for membership in all of our game clubs. Don’t hesitate to write to us about your experiences, we love to hear form you.

Yours truly,

Pitfall Harry,
Explorer



I never did get the newsletter.

Ribbon Mania

Honestly, who can keep track of all the different ribbons on people’s cars today. It’s seems like everybody wants to support something. When will the madness end?

This easy-to-use guide should help clear up some of the confusion. The following slogans should be prefaced with “We Support...”

Recovering game addicts tempted to play Doom 3,
Halo 2 and Unreal Tournament 2

Discriminated female Wal-Mart employees

Survivors of SARS, West Nile and Norwalk Viruses