Saturday, September 24, 2005

The Legacy of Mer-Man



Before he was an Evil Warrior who ruled the oceans of Eternia, Mer-Man was a reclusive, sea-dweller with a kind heart and gentle disposition. Little is known about Mer-Man before he joined the evil ranks of Skeletor and his minions, but his story is one of betrayal and deceit.


Mer-Boy grew up an only child in the Sea of Rakash. He spent much of his childhood maintaining very little contact with other members of his species. His father, an alcoholic, was cruel and abusive towards his son. Mer-Boy had a keen interest in science and was always reading books and writing stories about make-believe lands. His father found these qualities unsavory and would often ridicule and insult his son because of it. To make matters worse, his father had another family he kept hidden in the Ocean of Gnarl. When Mer-Boy was 13 his father left them completely to live with his other family. After his father left, Mer-Boy and his mother were able to live a somewhat quiet, normal life with only an occasional visit from his drunken maniac father.

At the age of 16, Mer-Boy ran away to the Sea of Harmony, seeking a new start. However, he was not satisfied by the immediate prospects. After a few months, while working at a sea-weed farm Mer-Boy was introduced to King Randor by the owner of the farm. King Randor immediately took a liking to Mer-Boy and was impressed with his knowledge of science and marine biology. Given that Eternia was a feudal society and prospects for different careers were bleak, Mer-Boy was delighted when the king offered him an apprenticeship on his counsel. Young Prince Adam, the king's son, was jealous of Mer-Boy and the amount of time he spent with his father. This jealousy drove Prince Adam to devise a plot to frame Mer-Boy. With aquatics as his specialty, Mer-Boy had access to the plumbing system blueprints for the Palace of Eternia. Using this fact to his advantage, under the veil of darkness Prince Adam stole the blueprints and hid them, along with a large container of poison in Mer-Boy’s living quarters. The next day Prince Adam mentioned to Duncan, Mer-Boy’s master, that he over-heard Mer-Boy talking quietly about some nefarious plan to harm many people in the palace. Duncan, doubtful at first, agreed to search Mer-Boy’s living quarters and was very surprised to find the blueprints and poison. Mer-Boy faced immediate execution, but the king took pity on the poor boy and exiled him to the murky waters near the Dunes of Doom.


Bitter and enraged, Mer-Boy, now going by the name Mer-Man, spent the next few years fighting for his life off the coast of the Dunes of Doom. While looking for food one day, Mer-Man ran into two gentlemen known as Beast-Man and Fisto. They explained to Mer-Man that they worked for an evil warlord named Skeletor and that he was looking to hire a few new people. Interested, Mer-Man accompanied Fisto and Beast-Man back to Snake Mountain, Skeletor’s evil palace. Skeletor quickly recognized the need for an ugly sea-creature on his staff and appointed him as an official Evil Warrior and ruler of the seas. Not long after Mer-Man started his new job he became involved in a nasty sexual harassment case. The details of the case are vague, but supposedly Fisto used his excessively large hand to "touch" Mer-Man while he was sleeping. While this is disgusting even for evil doers, some good did come out of it. During the trial Fisto was exposed as a traitor and defected to work for He-Man, Skeletor’s sworn enemy.

Mer-Man had a successful career working for Skeletor and many interesting assignments. Hustler, stalker, swindler, pimp, hit-man, drug dealer, bouncer, racketeer, junior warlord, burglar, get-away driver, smuggler, baller, thug, arms dealer, loan shark and bookie, Mer-Man has done it all. Sources say he is now retired and living in Long Beach, CA.

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