Doritos.com, The Ultimate Online Experience

I was so busy yesterday doing absolutely nothing that I barely had enough time to check out the Frito-Lay website, luckily I did. First of all, who goes to these types of websites? Other than me and some fat, semi-retarded Babylon 5 geek, how big of a junk food slob do you have to be to start surfing the web trying to find out more information about your favorite snack. As if eating the food isn’t good enough. The following is the description of the Doritos section:

Turn up the volume of your snacking with the amped-up spices, high-decibel cheese, and the awesome crunch of Doritos brand tortilla chips. The bold flavors like Doritos Nacho Cheesier and Cooler Ranch are the loudest tasting snacks on earth.

I like Doritos as much as the next guy, but high-decibel cheese, amped-up spices, Oops, I think I just squirted in my pants, which may very well be one of the 23 different flavors of Doritos-type products I found on the site. Pants Squirt® flavored DORITOS™ Tortilla Snacks. After casually glancing over the site I noticed that placed discreetly off to the side was the link to the actual Doritos website, this I had to see. Beware: Not only will this site piss you off, it may also make you hate Doritos forever.

After an enormously huge amount of time already wasted, about 45 seconds, I clicked over to the Doritos chat room by mistake.



Realizing what I had just done, my head started to hurt and I immediately thought of the last chat room I accidentally went to.

The Memory of War is by far one of the most intriguing of Babylon 5 episodes. The nano virus and Chambers breakthrough are out of synch here, but this is not a fault of the show's creators so viewers should go easy on that one continuity error. This is the last of the produced episodes to feature Peter Woodward as Galen and it is the best of the episodes that features Peter Woodward as Galen as well.

We already know geeks need a place to chat online, so this is nothing new, but I had to make this visit to Doritos.com semi-productive. Fortunately, I found the full ingredients to Murphy’s now famous Ranchero skid-mark fiasco.



N2(g) + 3H2(g) ↔ 2NH3(g) + ΔH = Ass Explosion

Doritos needs to worry less about being extreme and hip and urban and in-your-face and worry more about making good snacks that we all used to love.