ID4

As mentioned in previous Groderz lore, one way we can tell whether or not we agree with your taste in movies is by your assessment of the crap-fest Face/Off. If you liked that movie, we don't want you here.

Another, converse method is via your assessment of Independence Day.

If I was a Hollywood producer, and you were pitching me a movie, you could say "Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith smoke cigars together near the end." At that point, I wouldn't care if it was a docu-drama or a comedy or a horror film, I'd already be interested. If you told me that after they smoked the cigars, they launched a nuke right into the heart of the alien mother ship, I'd be totally stoked. If you then told me that all of this happened immediately after a scene where Randy Quaid, playing the same character he plays in the Vacation movies, drove a kamikaze fighter jet right into the main weapons systems of one of the alien battleships, I'd be on the phone to the Academy. The only thing left for me to add would be, "Make sure either Bill Paxton or Bill Pullman is in it." Making one of them play the President of the U.S. would just be unexpected icing on the cake.

Every time I mention ID4, someone wants to talk about how unrealistic the "virus" thing was. Whatever. If you can't suspend a little disbelief in the realm of computer science, you have no business commenting on modern cinema. ID4 is a wholly underrated marvel of filmmaking. In true Return of the Jedi fashion, they staged simulatneous multiple final battles on multiple scales, a feat that is remarkably difficult for a screenwriter to pull off. If you aren't on the edge of your seat in true, old-school, big-budget, action-flick apprectiation by the end of that movie, you just aren't a movie buff.

I first saw ID4 at midnight on July 4th, 1996. I thought it was one of the greatest movies ever. Yeah, it's got some cheesey-as-hell stuff in it, but even to this day I think it is a great movie.

Fiery Habanero

Here at Groderz, we like to keep our fans up to date on the latest Doritos buzz. I don't know why, it just kind of turned out that way.

Anyway, I recently bought a bag of their latest: Fiery Habanero. They purposefully left off the tilde ('~') in habanero, which is a bad omen from the start, but I bought a bag nevertheless.

Fiery Habanero is for-real spicy, not fake-nasty-spicy like Ranchero, so at least they got that going for them. But in the end, I threw away half of the bag and went and bought some Black Pepper Jack. The Habanero just weren't all that good. I feel pretty bad, considering that Doritos are ridiculously expensive.

Dancing Hip-Hop Yoda

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrPTb9JVuzk

Chappelle

This is my personal favorite skit.

http://media.putfile.com/Dave-Chappelle---Player-Haters-Ball

CRUISE ATTACKS PSYCHIATRIC DRUGS AGAIN

Tom Cruise is up to his usual antics. In the most recent issue of GQ he tells the magazine, "I've always found the 'if it makes me feel better, it's OK' rationale a little suspect. "I think it's appalling that people have to live a life of drug addiction when I have personally helped people get off drugs." In the interview, the actor claims he can get someone off heroin in three days through Scientology's detox programs.

Tom is an enigma and not as easy of a celebrity target as say George Clooney or Ben Affleck, they are both no-talent ass clowns and need to be sent to China or Cuba. Tom is on a different level. But even so I think three days to get someone off heroin is a stretch.

This article helps explain why even with drastic, radical treatment heroin is still a tough addiction to break.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/drugs/Story/0,,1561403,00.html

Maybe in Tom’s next movie he can star as a drug rehab counselor who cures people of heroin addiction in three days and then goes on to wins critical accolades for his performance and finally gets an Oscar.

Or maybe not, those types of movies don’t have explosions.

Funny Nintendo Videos

These are pretty funny and/or lame depending on how you look at it.

Nintendo 64 Screaming Kid

Gay Mario Commercial

Very Gay Power Glove Commercial