Weekly Spotlight

Presenting...

Smoke Crack and Prosper

Message(#6851-000459-5200\4595200)

Hello and thank you for contacting Nintendo,

Unfortunately, the information you asked about is no longer available. However, we do appreciate your interest in our products!

Sincerely,

Nintendo of America Inc.
Dervin Camden

Nintendo's home page: http://www.nintendo.com/
Power Line (Automated Product Info):
(425) 885-7529

Ok, so this turned out to be a dead-end. The problem is I still need more information about the game counselors.

I did take the survey.

THANK YOU!

Thank you for participating in our survey!

For more information on Nintendo products and service,

Please visit our web site at www.nintendo.com.

If you need assistance with any of our products, link here to be directed to a web form that will get you in touch with one of our customer service representatives.

If there is another game player in your household that would also like to provide information for this survey, click here to begin the survey again.

Once again, thank you for participating in our survey.

Nintendo Game Counselors

more...

Rob Leingang

Jack McLain

Sharon Kirksey

Steve Pennington

Garon Galloway

Jeff Mahaffey

Jody Sage

Blaine Phelps

This is an email I sent to Nintendo customer service, hopefully they'll get back to me.

http://www.nintendo.com/consumer/webform.jsp

Dear Nintendo:

I have been a Nintendo gamer and fan for almost 20 years now. Back when Nintendo Power first came out in the summer 1988 you would publish short bio’s about the very knowledgeable Nintendo Game Counselors. It was cool to know a thing or two about the counselors, favorite games, hobbies, high scores, etc., I was wondering if I could receive some information about the current game counselors or you could direct me to where this information would be available. Thanks in advance and keep up the good work.


Avid Gamer

Brian Peppers

From what I have gathered so far this is not an internet joke. This guy is actually registered at the Ohio Sex Offender website. Type in Brian Peppers and see for yourself.

http://www.esorn.ag.state.oh.us/Secured/p21_2.aspx


Classification:Sexually Oriented Offender
Offense(s):2907.05- Gross Sexual Imposition

Offender/Demographics

Brian Peppers
Nickname: n/a
Date of Birth:11/01/1968
Age:36
Race:White Gender:Male
Height:5'7"
Weight:170 lbs.
Hair:Brown
Eyes:Blue
Scars, Marks, Tattoos:n/a

New Skool

Don’t let your eyes deceive you, the good folks over at Members Only have decided to remodel their classic jacket for the modern retro-metro type. This hip new look will have everyone in a fashion frenzy this fall.

Mad ill-usions

Stare at the black X in the middle of the screen long enough and all the purple dots disappear and only the one green dot remains, make sure you don't blink, but if you follow the purple dots around the circle you will notice there are no green dots at all. This is pretty cool.

Megalomania

I'm not mad at Al Gore, I really don't think most people are mad at him anymore. The problem is that he is mad at everyone else.

In a March 1999 interview with Wolf Blitzer, Gore said, "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." While this statement is vague and ambiguous it can not directly be concluded that Al Gore ever actually said he invented the Internet. During the 2000 election the George Bush campaign team concocted a scenario in which Gore claims that he invented the Internet. Funny? Yes. True? Maybe.

With the creation of the Internet behind him Gore is moving on to bigger and better things, namely Current TV. Watch out Rupert Murdoch and Ted Turner, here comes Al Gore and he is looking to add media mogul to his résumé.

Here is what Gore said in an April press conference about his new channel, "We have no intention of being a Democratic channel, a liberal channel... That's not what we're all about. We are about empowering this generation of young people in the 18-to-34 population to engage in a dialogue of democracy and to tell their stories of what's going on in their lives, in the dominent medium of our time." Conservative groups across the nation are already predicting a flop.

Conventional television is a dying medium, hopefully Gore and his team of media experts, if they exist, have a few tricks up their sleeves.

Good luck Al.

Van Daaaaamn!

Van Damme. He was in a lot of movies in a short period of time. He played Guile in the Street Fighter II movie. Ken busted a cap in his ass.

Van Damme's very first movie role was as "Gay Karate Man" in 1984's Monaco Forever. It set the tone for his whole career.

He played twins in Double Impact. In a rare stroke of creative genius, the creators of Double Impact decided to make one of the twins a street-wise tough guy, and the other a prissy cake boy. Oh yeah, and separated at birth. Needless to say, I was blown away by such raw originality in a screenplay.

The picture above was from Cyborg. Despite that "cyborg" is written right there on his head, Van Damme does not play a cyborg in that movie.

The last time Van Damme was heard from in the news was on a slightly embarrassing note. In Feb. 1998 Van Damme, along with pal and not-much-action star Mickey Rourke walked into the famous NY strip club, Score’s. After a few drinks eyewitnesses reported that Hells Angel’s president Chuck Zito beat-up Van Damme with a fierce series of punches and jabs. Where was Mickey Rourke when all this was happening? I guess he was engaged in other activities, like being a total homo. Poor Van Damme. I guess he needs to spend less time looking tough and more time actually being tough.

Van Damme is multi-talented. Actor, martial arts expert, and most importantly, an accomplished dancer. Early in his career, he was in the famous breakdance movie, Breakin', as "Passerby in First Dance Sequence." The fresh moves he learned from that experience obviously carried over into the scene in the following link, which is from one or more of the following movies: Bloodkill, Killsport, Kickdeath, Bloodsport, Deathboxer, Kickboxer, or Deathkill.

Don't just stand there, bust a move.

Superman Memory Game

This game is fun and easy to play. Stare at this picture of Superman for 60 seconds and try to memorize as many details as possible. The link below is to another picture of Superman almost identical to the one above. See how many differences you can find between the two pictures. If you can find 5 or more, you're a real super sleuth! It works the best if you can remember as many details as possible. After you are done click here.

Corporate Sponsorship

Corporations will sponsor anything and advertise anywhere. Recent proposals have even included low-orbiting billboards to advertise from space. As ridiculous as this may seem it just proves the point that corporations will stop at nothing to advertise their products.
The next logical step is for corporations to figure out how to use Iraq as a platform to advertise. Maybe some type of bidding war would take place to rebuild the infrastructure or some other project.

My prediction is by the year 2008 Iraq will be renamed Office Depot.

This would create new opportunities for other global entities to be renamed as well. For example, say the next time a natural disaster strikes a third-world country, U.S. corporations could swoop in and make huge humanitarian relief donations if the country agrees to rename itself. Say from Sri Lanka to Bank of America. Why stop there? What if a drunk oil tanker captain collides with another ship in the Gulf of Mexico and creates a nasty oil spill, upsetting thousands of miles of coast. Disaster? Yes, but also an opportunity for Microsoft to pay for the clean up and rename it the Gulf of Microsoft.

By any means necessary

Mr. T vs. Cats

Yes, I brought it back.



The Original ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

the top 20 worst NES games of all time.

All of these games suck.

Played Out

Ok, I know, I'm glad too that the Whazzup? craze is finally over, but this was always the best one. You know it's still funny...

http://www.docmelamed.com/Whazzup/superfriends.htm

Gaming Culture

BBC News

S Korean dies after games session


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4137782.stm

Scott's Neighbor in Japan

My friend and fellow Dream Team member Scott Popular lives in Japan. I always wonder if Scott ever bumps into Fighter Hayabusa at the club on dollar drink night, I mean yen drink night. Watch out for him Scott, the Back Brain Kick is no joke.

Vania Mania

God Bless Lindsey A. Kaeo. In 1988 his house was host to one of the most monumental gaming sessions in modern history.
Castlevania II hadn’t even come out yet in Atlanta. This was back when games were first released your town might not get all the new titles. You’d go into the mall all pumped up about buying Excitebike II and the dude would be like “No, that wasn’t released in Atlanta.” “What do you mean ‘wasn’t released in Atlanta.’? ...buster."
I think Lindsey’s step-brother Daniel got an advance copy of Castlevania II in New York. Daniel, a non-gamer, of course did not realize that Castlevania II was one of the most eagerly anticipated sequels of all time. But that’s not what I told him when I convinced him to let me borrow Castlevania II if I let him borrow Deadly Towers.
Not too long after I borrowed Castlevania II Lindsey had his annual Sleep-over party. Other than celebrating Lindsey’s birthday the best way we knew how, I don’t remember much about that party, but I do remember this…

At about 7:00 pm, the Dream Team (Jason T., Scott B., Victor H., Ben M.) along with myself started playing Castlevania II. We each took two or three hour shifts playing non-stop for about eleven hours and finally beat the game shortly after 6:00 am. As young pupas little did we know that we were slowly undergoing transformation into seasoned gamers and that this all-night gaming experience was the start of something extraordinary. Playing video games, especially really good ones, was brought to a higher level.

I won’t use this opportunity to clown any specific individuals but some of us did fall asleep and didn’t make it all the way until the end to watch the closing credits. The ending was always the smoothest part of the game and Castlevania II was no exception. Some games though just did not have solid endings (Super Off-Road).
As our parents came and picked us up from Lindsey’s house a few hours later and we parted our ways I remember giving a nod to the other members of the Dream Team, as if to say “That was awesome guys, I can’t believe we stayed up all night and finally beat Castlevania II.”
I'll always miss and remember Lindsey for a thousand better reasons than this one, but it was a good time and a fun birthday party.

Tap your inner guerilla warrior

http://www.wormulon.net/files/TPSreport.pdf

http://www.wormulon.net/files/TPSMemo.pdf

Start a cubicle revolution. If your office environment is anything like mine it’s eerily reminiscent of the movie Office Space. Multiple bosses, cube farms, mindless paper work and procedures. The two links above are .pdf files of the TPS Cover Sheet and the TPS Memo from Office Space. Go ahead and make a bunch of copies and distribute them all around the office. And oh yeah, I'm going to have to go ahead and ask you to come in on Sunday, too...

These quotes will help with the over-all effect:

“Yeah. Uh, did you get that memo?”

“Yeah. It's just that we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now.”

“ So if you could just remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!”

Gaming

In 1983 my best friend was the Atari 2600. What more could any entry-level gamer ask for. The marquee, top-of-the-line game was Pitfall! (Pitfall Harry’s Jungle Adventure). Nothing else had even come close to the game play, difficulty or pure fun of Pitfall. The apex of my career as gamer came very early. Activision had a contest where if you scored 20,000 points or more you would become a member of the Explorers Club, an elite group of gamers dedicated to all things Pitfall. My parents were surprisingly supportive of my gaming habits, so one day after a mammoth session my mom took a picture of my score and sent it in to Activision. A few weeks later we got in the mail an Explorers Club patch and this letter:

Dear Pitfall Harry adventurer:

Congratulations! You scored 20,000 or more points on Pitfall and have earned membership in Activision’s Explorers Club. I’m proud of you – not every soldier of fortune has the courage and skill to tame the wild jungle.
In permanent recognition of your special ability to find treasure despite snapping crocodiles and deadly scorpions, I’ve enclosed my official emblem.
Your name will be added to our mailing list and you’ll receive Activisions, the newsletter that reports on new Activision game cartridges, designers, special contests, and experiences of other video game fans around the country.
Thank you for sharing your accomplishment with me. I hope you will try for membership in all of our game clubs. Don’t hesitate to write to us about your experiences, we love to hear form you.

Yours truly,

Pitfall Harry,
Explorer



I never did get the newsletter.

Ribbon Mania

Honestly, who can keep track of all the different ribbons on people’s cars today. It’s seems like everybody wants to support something. When will the madness end?

This easy-to-use guide should help clear up some of the confusion. The following slogans should be prefaced with “We Support...”

Recovering game addicts tempted to play Doom 3,
Halo 2 and Unreal Tournament 2

Discriminated female Wal-Mart employees

Survivors of SARS, West Nile and Norwalk Viruses

Homeless Vets with Cystic Fibrosis

Unabomber Composite Sketch

Classic. This is the best composite sketch ever released by the FBI. In a 1996 press release "FBI officials said they are no longer interested in releasing a sketch of the Unabomber without sunglasses, and one veteran artist said that such a drawing could be harmful to the investigation." That's because this sketch is totally awesome, why would they need another one? I always thought when they pulled him out of his shack out in the middle of nowhere they should have adorned him with the trademark sunglasses and hooded sweatshirt. The interview after the capture might have gone something like this:

"So Special Agent Utah, how exactlly were you able to apprehend the suspect?”

"Initially we used various surveillance and canvassing techniques as part of our strategy to identify potential terrorists. But our big break came when my partner, Special Agent Rodriguez saw the suspect in the 7-Eleven parking lot wearing a hooded sweatshirt and excessively large sunglasses, that's when we followed him back to this shack in the middle of nowhere and were able to make the capture."